Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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