Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
