thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Randomize
