TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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