Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
