Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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