areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
you win again, gameday.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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