never play flip cup with pint glasses
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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