Im at strip club and am horny
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize