You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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