Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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