My Higher Power is John Stamos
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
That accounts for only three of the penises
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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