I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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