We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
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He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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