Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
