Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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