I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Alive.
So much puke
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
