I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
