I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
