she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
