so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
