i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
