If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
