He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
