forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
