I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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