suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
