I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
