the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
