I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Damn victory sex feels great
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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