did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
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If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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