cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
