He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
it glows. i had to have it.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
