How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
