i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
