Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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