Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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