Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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