I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
