I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
