I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
