A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I just forgot I was standing up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
