i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
