So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
