The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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