Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize