Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
