dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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