I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
