Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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