im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
