I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
