Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
