help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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