If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
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he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
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i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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